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Ask the Coach

 

An enquiring mind is a healthy mind. If you have a question relating to personal development, coaching, or therapy that has not been answered so far, please ask and I will help if we can. Click here to contact us.

Some questions that I have been asked in the past:

Q: Why does my husband never do anything when I ask him, and then tells me that I nag because I have to repeat myself?
A: People work on different communication levels, some people communicate inferentially i.e., they hint at what they want and some people work literally i.e. they are very direct. If you get two people communication in different ways, then this can lead to frustrating situations like this.

Q: My boss is driving me mad, he micro manages everything I do, does this mean he doesn’t trust my judgment?
A: In the programming that we have there is a part which sets out how much information we need in order to be satisfied – if one person only needs the big picture as it were, and another needs all of the detail to be happy that things are progressing, it may not occur to either party that the other may need more or less information than they do, this can lead to issues.

Q: Why do all my relationships fail?
A: If we believe on some level that all our relationships will fail, that is what we will set ourselves up for and guess what!!?? We WILL get what we are looking for to prove we are right – this is a limiting belief.

Q: I work with someone who touches my arm all the time when she talks to me, why is she doing this?
A: There are 3 main representational system types for people, that we use to express ourselves; visual, auditory, and kinesthetic (feelings). K people often are very tactile whilst V and A people are a lot less so. If you find someone who is very touchy/feely when they talk to you but don’t seem to be being inappropriate with it, listen to the words they are using like; I understand, that feels right, did you catch on, it’s a hard lesson, etc. This is all part of rapport and if you would like to know more, please ask the coach.

Q: I have tried to get my message across 3 times now and they are not listening, what can I do?
A: In human communication words count for only 7% of the communication. The tone and voice quality counts for 38% and amazingly enough, your body language counts for a staggering 55% … if people are not getting the message it is unlikely to be the words that are causing the problem.

Q: I have tried everything and am desperate to lose weight, why is it not happening?
A: We are back to getting what you focus on again here I am afraid. We eat for 3 main reasons, emotions, habit and faulty programming.

Q: I love my job but I hate work, how can that be?
A: We have a value set for each main area in our life including work/career, if your present place of employment doesn’t fit your value system, this will have an impact on your enjoyment at work, even if you are doing an actual job that you like.

Q: I am tired of everyone making me feel left out, what can I do to make them involve me?
A: Nobody can make you feel anything, we are in charge of ourselves on that front, we can choose to feel left out because of someone’s actions, OR we can choose to involve ourselves in the event by being proactive. This is the difference between being a victim and taking responsibility. If you would like to discuss this further, please contact us.

Q: I am really frustrated with my trainer, he keeps changing the routine every week, why is he doing that?
A: Some people get bored doing the same thing over and over again and they have to change things regularly to keep their interest up, other people feel much more comfortable when things are familiar. As in other programming style issues, if you get one of each type working together, it is helpful to be able to recognize things like this to avoid frustration – communication is the key again, talk about it with the other person.

Please get in touch and "Let us set you free".

  Wendy Makepeace-Browne of WLM Consulting